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Literature Text
I woke up this morning wrapped in my own arms and thought of you
Of a certain weekend spent in love
Sweet glances sent in my direction
Smooth skin caressed and lips full from kissing
Hot breath breathed on ears, necks, breasts, and lower
Falling water, warm, then cold alike.
There is no substitute for waking up wrapped in warmth
Turning over for a kiss and a "goodmorning, love" in the afternoon
And falling asleep again.
I remember songs sung duet and solo
Promises made to tender hearts
Passions brought about in secret…
My head swims thinking of a life
Where I'll never have to worry
Because "we've got our love to pay the bills"
And your kindness
Your dreams
Your empathy
And our love
Make me happier than anything else.
So, darling,
"I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is
While you're in the world".
Of a certain weekend spent in love
Sweet glances sent in my direction
Smooth skin caressed and lips full from kissing
Hot breath breathed on ears, necks, breasts, and lower
Falling water, warm, then cold alike.
There is no substitute for waking up wrapped in warmth
Turning over for a kiss and a "goodmorning, love" in the afternoon
And falling asleep again.
I remember songs sung duet and solo
Promises made to tender hearts
Passions brought about in secret…
My head swims thinking of a life
Where I'll never have to worry
Because "we've got our love to pay the bills"
And your kindness
Your dreams
Your empathy
And our love
Make me happier than anything else.
So, darling,
"I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is
While you're in the world".
I wrote this a couple minutes ago because I needed to express some feelings about my weekend, and that's what poetry is for, right?
Dedicated to James
For #theWrittenRevolution: [link]
Critiques:
I tried this piece with the long lines (as they are now), as well as splitting the longer ones in half for aesthetic. Do you think it would be more effective to make the lines shorter, or keep them long?
I didn't want to make things overstated, so the imagination can fill in the blanks, but is the imagery too vague?
I tried to use minimalistic punctuation. Is it good, or does it detract?
Dedicated to James
For #theWrittenRevolution: [link]
Critiques:
I tried this piece with the long lines (as they are now), as well as splitting the longer ones in half for aesthetic. Do you think it would be more effective to make the lines shorter, or keep them long?
I didn't want to make things overstated, so the imagination can fill in the blanks, but is the imagery too vague?
I tried to use minimalistic punctuation. Is it good, or does it detract?
© 2012 - 2024 AcaulescentRose
Comments12
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nice form of expression! i liked it so much ^^. say, would it be ok if i publish this poem in my school's monthly megazine? it'd be great to have it in.